Home
by Yamachinostalgia
Summary: Kyman! Carman moves away from South Park for four years, but what will things look like when he returns senior year?
1. Chapter 1

It was the last day of seventh grade, and all I could do was sulk. I was going to miss this place. I had worked my whole life to get this town wrapped around my finger, and now suddenly my mom decides to get married and move us to fucking Sacramento California. God damn her. I haven't told the guys yet, I have this nervous feeling in my gut, but I assume its because I know they won't really care. I thought back to third grade when Kyle's family moved to San fransico. No one was going to pull me out of California. I shuddered a little before leaning on my locker heavily. After a few minutes Kenny and Stan walked up. We all had lockers close to each other, so we were able to talk between every class.

"So what should we do first this summer?" Stan asked Kenny as they got closer to me. I sighed loudly, slumping to the floor.

"What's up fat ass?" Kenny asked in his muffled voice.

"I'm gonna miss this place." I said quietly.

"Dude. Well be back in school in three months." I groaned a little.

"Yeah, Not me. Not this school." I pouted a bit. Stan and Kenny looked at each other in confusion.

"I'm moving to California." I said bluntly.

"No way." Stan gaped.

"Fuck dude, smoke some chronic for me!" Kenny pitched in. I shrugged, and threw my backpack over my shoulder. As I walked away I heard Kyle bounce over to them.

The rest of the day passed by sluggishly, but before long I was waiting by the bus stop.

"Cartman!" I turned to see Kyle running up to me.

"Hey joo." I replied half heatedly.

"Stan told me... Well it's not really true, is it?" he looked hesitant.

"Yes, my mom's moving us to California. So go ahead, it's ok to get your hopes up. Trust me, I tried to change her mind, but it's official." I looked away as I spoke, not wanting to watch his celebration. Stupid Jew.

"For real? When?" I finally turned to him. His expression hadn't changed much. I guess the celebration starts once I'm long gone.

"tomorrow night." I tried to act nonchalant.

"Dude. How long have you known?" his voice was dripping with pity. I gritted my teeth.

"Look Kahl. As much as I appreciate your two faced concern, I only have twenty six hours left in south park, and I'd really rather not spend it with the Jew." and with that I took off to go look for Kenny. If I was lucky, maybe I could convince him to get ahold of some booze.

That was four years ago. I'm now moving into my senior year at Sacramento high. (or sac high, but why the fuck no one seems to see how gay that is I'll never know.) I hadn't really made any friends since I've been here. I mean there's a few guys I hang out with that I can call whenever I got a new scheme up my sleeve, but they're just tools to get the job done. Deep down there's no one I'd rather use then Kyle and Kenny. And, sure, Stan and Butters, but I found their replacements the first hour of being in California. It took me the first three years to find a Jew-replacer, and this guys not even Jewish!

I sighed from my place in the tree. I looked out over the back yard. My mom and her pornstar husband bought this shitty little house on the mountain side despite my many problems with it. Seriously, our house is built on a slant. One serious flood and it'll wash away! Not to mention rock slides. Plus if I want to go anywhere I have to walk for two or three hours. Stupid. I hopped down, deciding to go out for some ice cream. Usually it wasn't worth the walk, but it had been far too long since I've had something sugary. I climbed down and pulled my iPod out of my baggy khakis. The walk there had gotten progressively easier over the years, and after listening to a single album of slayer I was there.

"Eric!" Keith waved me over to his table where him, Jack, and Doug were seated in front three dishes of ice cream. Keith was my Kyle replacement, Jack my replacent for Stan, and Doug my Butters.

"What's up Mexicano?" I asked as I sat next to Keith, my legs burning.

"For the last time fat ass, my parents are from Spain." I shrugged.

"And yet they speak Mexican." he turned red.

"They speak Spanish, shit for brains!" I made my hand mimick his words, and his nostrils flared in anger.

"Hey Eric, well the guys an I thought it would be fun if we could all go to that big fair this weekend? Oh wouldn't that be nice?" I rolled my eyes at the dark haired Butters impersonator.

"Yeah whatever Doug."

We chatted for a bit longer until Doug and Jack had to leave. Bible study or some gay shit.

"So... You want to head back to my place? My brother might be able to give you a ride home tonight so you don't have to walk." I shrugged, following him out the door. My legs still burned pretty badly from the way here.

"So what's the plan when we get there?" I ask, barely paying attention.

"Well they just put up that horror movie on Hulu, if your up for it. But my parents are out of town, so we have to be careful to clean up afterwards." I stopped walking.

"The fuck? Your parents are out of town? God damn it, dude, your suppose to throw parties when that happens!" I yelled after him before catching up. He blushed at me before stuttering a bit. Finally we got to his house and he lead me to his room. I flopped back on his bed as he set up the movie.

"you got anything to much on?" I ask, scratching my stomach lightly. He laughed.

"Come on, man. Remember how fat you were when we first met? I'm not enabling you." I frowned.

"Ey! I'm not fat, I'm just big boned!" he sits next to me, poking my stomach. I squeal a little before flinching away with a glare. He laughs.

"No, you were fat. Now your just big boned." I frowned, poking my own stomach a bit. I had lost a lot a flab, and even gained some muscle, but I knew I'd always be the fat kid. Before I knew it, Keith was laying close to me, propped up on one elbow while his other hand lay on my stomach. I fidgeted a bit. Dark soulful eyes looked up at me, searching me for things I had no knowledge of. And then he threw his leg over mine, and began kissing me. I let out a squeal, but his body radiated a hunger, and a need. My hands shook as I found myself gripping his hips, pulling him closer, and kissing him fiercely. I never wanted anybody like this before. I got hard at the thought of morbid an unusual events, or when reading about hitler, but never in front of someone else, never because of someone else. He sucked and nipped at my jawline, nails dragging lightly down my chest. He moaned as he grinded his hips against my own, and with out warning to either of us I moaned out a name loudly.

"Oh God Kyle!" he stopped, pulling away as the moment sunk in. I tossed him off of me, drowning in my own blush. Gathering my things I stormed out, beginning the long journey home.

I trudged home, praying that I'd wake up and find this all to be some disturbing nightmare. I knew it wouldn't be, but god, I never even knew I could be gay! I mean, honestly I had never thought about it. Most people were just dumb cattle to me, nothing sexual about them. So what the hell just happened? And why did it make me think of my long lost Jew? If that's what I wanted, Keith should have been enough. He's practically just like Kyle, annoying morals, bitchy parents, sex obsessed brother... But he's not my Jew. He's just some sand monkey. Some random person I manipulated into hanging out with me. So why the fuck did he kiss me? I grunted, flipping through my music angrily. Monday at school was going to be awkward as hell. Maybe I should just ditch, it's not like my mom and her gross husband would ever notice. Finally I was able to keep myself from thinking, and instead just walked the forever uphill road home.

As I approached the door I heard my-ick- stepdad yelling. I opened the door and was immediately greeted by a glass bottle to the face.

"THE FUCK, MAN?!" I yell out.

"Oh poopsie-kins! You know he didn't mean it, he didn't know you were there!" my mom defended passively.

"Don't tell him that! That boy needs to get tough! Let him think I did it on purpose!" I grunted, walking past them to my room. I blasted my music with a relieved sigh. They can argue all night as long as I have my tunes. I flopped back on my bed before hearing my phone bing, alerting me to the new text message.

"Eric... Hey so about tonight... Please don't tell anyone. We can figure out what the hell to do together, just don't tell the guys." I snorted. Well at least things would just be awkward with Keith, instead of everyone. I jumped as my mom screamed from the other room. I shut off my music, flinging open my door. There was an eery silence as I took in the sight. My mom was sobbing on the floor, covering her eye and rocking slightly. Before I could think through it I grabbed a statue off the shelf and threw it full force at her husband. It hit him right in his douche face and he smacked onto the floor. I walked up to my mom, holding my hand out to her. She looked up at me, and Christ, she looked terrified. I frowned.

"Ok. Fuck this guy, and fuck California. Mom, we've been here for four years. I vote it's time to move on." she took my hand and I helped her up. She sniffled before nodding.

"We'll leave at the end of the week. I need to give my work some notice, and make arrangements for your transfer." she muttered as she walked over her douche husband and into her room. I stood there for a minute before kicking him.

When I woke up the next morning my mom told me that my douche step dad was in the hospital for a concussion and a fractured rib. I laughed, but she seemed pretty genuinuely upset. The hospital had told her he would be held for four days, so that's how long we had to move out. I stared out the window as I thought over the last two days. We were almost to my high school and I would have to tell the guys about this. Unlike when I left south park, this time I didn't give a shit what they thought about my absence. As I walked to the front, Jack and Doug waved at me from the shade of one of the trees. Keith was there, but he looked like he was melting into the ground.

"Hey Eric! Keith just told us that his parents are out of town for the next week and a half! He's throwing a party this weekend, you in?" Jack grinned. I shook my head, and Keith shrunk even more.

"Can't, my mom and I are moving soon." I replied nonchalantly.

"Moving where?" Keith seemed to snap back.

"I don't know, back to Colorado maybe? She needs to get away from her douche husband." I shrug as I sit between Keith and Jack.

"Well then we need to throw a going away party! Something nice!" Doug pitched in. I rolled my eyes. I didn't need any of that.

"He's right man! Tonight after school! Doug and I will work on finding some booze, Keith, work on invitations!" Jack exclaimed excitedly as he and Doug took off. I frowned deeply. Did they really think I was their friend? Hell, they acted like it a hell of a lot more than my friends back in southpark...

"Eric..." Keith started softly.

"Not really. Things have just been fucked up for my mom." I replied, already knowing what he was going to ask. I didn't need to hear it aloud.

"What about Kyle?" he nearly whispered. I blushed.

"What? I don't even know that she plans on moving back there! I haven't seen the guy since seventh grade! And even if I do find him there's nothing there." I explained hurriedly. He laughed sadly.

"So the fact that you moaned his-"

"Stop it beaner!"

"Listen fat ass! Last night meant a lot to me, I at least deserve an explanation!" I stared at him for a minute before sighing.

"I dont know. I had never... Never thought about anything like that before. About anyone, guy or girl. And then it was just there, and that's where my mind went. I don't know." I looked away embarrassed.

"Ok. Well keep in touch. And let me know if you find him. I really do hope the best for you Eric." Keith spoke softly as he stood. I just nodded in reply, then watched him walk away sadly. I frowned to myself. These guys were going to miss me. I doubt anyone in south park would feel that way. Hell, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny probably just went through life normally after I left. Maybe even got along better without me. My mom never told me where she planned on moving us. I guess she was really shaken up. If we moved somewhere new then there were no worries for me. I could put this whole gay experience in my rear view mirror and move on. But if we went back to South Park... What happened last night would stick in my head. I might think about it every time I see Kyle. But then again, four years was a long time. He might not even be there anymore. He was always the smartest out of the four of us, he could have graduated early. Dozens more outcomes played out in my head before I began walking to class. Finally I got to my first hour class, and as I sat down, I sought comfort by telling myself that there was still the possibility of moving somewhere new. It's always easier being the new kid than to be known.


	2. Chapter 2

All through out my day I began to get bombarded with hugs and random people telling me how much I'll be missed.  
Finally lunch time approached, and I met up with the guys by cafeteria doors. They each met me with a sad smile before the four of us went to our usual table.

"So the party tonight's definitely on! My brothers on his way to pick up the booze and he'll drop it off at Keith's when we call him. We do kinda have to pay him double the store prices, but whatever." Jack shrugs.

"I've got a whole list of people that want to see you off at this party, and words spreading fast." Keith added shyly.

"You mean you have a whole list of people that want to party." I corrected, shoving a fry in my mouth. They all seemed to roll their eyes in unison.

"People like you Eric, get over it." Jack smirked at me.

"Especially the girls! Oh boy Eric, they all seemed so sad when I was inviting them!" Doug added, hands fidgeting as he spoke. I raised an eyebrow. Was this a joke? Because it was stupid and hardly funny. After a minute of staring at them, Keith turned to Jack.

"He really doesn't know that he's a good catch." he whispered before laughing.

"Ok whatever, but what do I have to pay for this party?" I asked in annoyance. Even if they keep being dicks, it might actually be fun to get a little wasted tonight.

"Eric for gods sake, this is your going away party! Were taking care of it." Keith replied with a frown.

"So what your saying is that all I has to do is show up and get drunk?" I asked with a quirked eyebrow. That didn't seem right. The three just laughed at me.

"Yes! Come on, you don't want to disappoint all those girls that are hoping to get one last chance with you, huh?" Jack teased.

"So gay." I muttered. Jack and Doug gave a strange laugh, while Keith smiled through a light blush.

Through out the rest of the day I began noticing that the majority of random hugs were from girls; desired ones even. And it felt good. Not sexually, or in that way you feel when you screw someone over, but some other kind of good. Each one stuttered shyly as they told me that I'd be missed.

Finally it was the end of the day, and I found the guys out by the bus stop.

"Ok, so well head over to Keith's, my brother will drop off the booze, we'll hide all the valuables and breakables, and then around six people will start showing up." Jack went over the plan with a smile. We boarded the bus, and almost immediately girls started asking me to sit by them. I had never felt so uncomfortable, so I decline each offer before sitting next to Keith.

"Eric why are you leaving? Doesn't your family like California?" the girl sitting behind us asked sadly. I snorted a little, before Keith answered for me.

"I'm sure they do, it's just they have family and friends back in Colorado." he explained carefully.

"ok, well if your ever back in town, call me. I'd love to catch up!" she told me flirtatiously as she handed a sheet of paper up. I took it and shoved it in my pocket, not even looking to see if she had written a name.  
The bus stops, and I follow Jack, Doug, and Keith down the street.

"Dude, that was Kristen Cooper!" Jack grins between me and Keith.  
"head cheerleader?!" he pauses again at my uninterested stare.  
"Christ, your impossible to please." he mutters as he walks ahead of us. I watch Jack and Doug walk a bit further away before Keith turns to me.

"Do you know when you're leaving yet?" he asks softly. I shake my head.

"some time in the next three days I guess." I shrug. There's a long pause before he whispers to me shyly.

"You know the head cheerleader's not the only one hoping to get one last chance with you before you leave." He blushes, and I feel my face heat up as well.

"Goddamn. Even after last night?" I looked down at him, my brow furrowed. He chuckles lightly.

"Especially after last night. A taste like that?" he's no longer looking at me, but I can see the deep blush on his cheeks.

"What if I call you Kyle again?" I nudge his arm teasingly. He shrugs.

"I can be Kyle for a night." when we reach his house, Jack's on the phone, with Doug seated patiently beside him. They stand up when we get close enough, and Keith lets us in.  
For the next hour or so I'm laying back on the couch as the guys make the place a little less fragile. The doorbell rings, and Jack hurries over to it, handing his brother a large wad of cash for the bag of alcohol. As his brother walks away, Jack spins toward us grinning.

"Ok, we're getting a head start!" he reaches in and grabs us each a Mickey's. Doug and Jack sit on the couch across from me, and as I sit up to take the bottle from the table, Keith sits beside me. Suddenly Jack stands.

"To Eric Cartman!" he tips his bottle towards me.  
"If it weren't for him, the three of us might never have met!" he grins at me, and I can't help but smile back. I hold up my glass.

"To me!" we all laugh, before chugging our drinks. We talked like that for a long time, reminiscing about my first days in California. It was a lot of fun, like a private birthday where drinking is the present. Before long however, strangers from school started showing up, all devastated to loose me. By midnight the place was packed, and it smelled heavily of weed and vodka.

I was shit-faced, and more relaxed than I'd ever been. I stumbled past the beer pong table, pouring myself another shot. I downed it and as I put the shot glass back on the counter, some chick appeared through the crowd. She licked her lips as she got closer. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she was stroking my arm with one hand, and pressing the other onto my chest. She leaned up, moving the hand on my chest up to the back of my neck. So I shoved her; not a gentle one either, the girl was sicking me out. And as she walked away glaring daggars at me, I poured another shot.

"Dude!" Jack walked up to me.

"What?" I yelled back.

"I said dude! That girl wanted to fuck you!" he screamed practically in my ear. I nodded.

"Yeah and I wanted to drink! She was clogging up the process!" I grinned back. He gaped at me, but just shook his head.

"Keith! You think you can talk some sense into him?" he yelled over my shoulder. I stummbled as I turned to look at the boy.

"What?" he yelled back. I shook my head, handing them each a shot. A few more hours passed by, and the majority of people who hadn't left yet were passed out in random sections of the house. Jack was off trying to score with one of the chicks I had turned down, and Keith and I were alone in the kitchen. He handed me another shot.

"You know get me too drunk an I might black out before you can take advantage of me." I teased as I took the shot. He stared at me for a minute, before standing on his toes to whisper in my ear.

"Please Eric, I need to feel you again." great. Now I had to climb up stairs with a boner. I sighed in exasperation. He looked up at me nervously before I led him toward his room.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: so I really want to keep this story under the M rating, so... We'll see how long Cartman let's me..._

* * *

Before we even made it to his room his lips were on mine. We were kissing fiercely, but it was nothing like before. This time I wasn't caught off guard. This time when I sucked and bit his neck I could think of nothing but his dark skin, and his brown, hopeful eyes. This time I had control, even if Keith seemed to be loosing his. I growled as I tossed him to the bed, his shirt already half-way unbuttoned. As I lay above him I felt the submission radiate from his skin. We continued to make out until my mind and body could imagine nothing else. His neck between my teeth and his whimper in my ear, I thrust against him with a growl.

"Oh God Eric! I need-!" Keith begged breathlessly as he tugged on my waistband.

"Need what?" I smirked down at him.

"Let me please you. I just need to please you before you go." his eyes were black with lust as he looked over my body so fucking slowly. I was speechless, so I just silently gave him some control. He lifted my shirt up, kissing me from my jaw to my collar bone, then from my peck down my abs, moving lower while tracing my body with his finger tips. Christ! This was definitely better than jacking off to holocaust videos...

When he had satisfied both of us, we fell back into his bed, breathing heavily. It felt like I had just killed a bear with my own hands, or taken out an entire army single handedly, or like the devil just sold me his soul. I felt truly dominant and preditorial.  
Of course! That's why my brain jumped to Kyle! He's the only person who would never submit to my will... Very well Kahl. Let's just see what you think of the new, totally not fat, Dominate Eric Cartman.  
I chuckled evilly to my self.

I lied there for a while until I noticed Keith's light snoring. I laughed lightly before getting up to check myself in the mirror and slip back to the party.  
As soon as I stepped out the door into the light I was suddenly reminded of how drunk I really was. Using the wall for support, I made my way back downstairs and collapsed on the closest unoccupied couch.

The next day was horrible. My head pounded at the smallest disturbance, but luckily half the school was in the same boat. I flopped down across the lunch table from Keith.

"Any updates yet?" he asks as he unpacks his bagged lunch.

"Nah, I haven't talked to my mom since yesterday." I shrugged. He nodded as Jack and Doug joined us.

"Man I'm fucking hung over!" Jack growled.

"Well I'm sure you all are! Things got pretty crazy last night." Doug added.

"Hell yeah they did! I ended up alone with Kristen Cooper." Jack grinned slyly.

"Oh yeah? Was she still all worked up over my body?" I laughed, and Jack threw a fry at me.

"Ok then hot stuff, who did your body get worked up over last night?" He smirked. I smiled widely.

"If you must know I did get some hot action last night. But unlike you, I don't feel the need to yell it to the world in a desperate attempt to hide my own sexuality." I laughed at the scowl on his face as well as the look of shock on Keith's.

"Gay joke; real mature." Jack pouted. Next to him Keith gaped at me, eyes wide in fear. I laughed harder.

The rest of the day moved slowly and was entirely forgettable, but finally I made it out to the bus stop.

"What's up amigo?" I asked at I walked up to Keith. He stared at me for a minute.

"Was that meant to be another Mexican joke?" he asked blankly. I rolled my eyes.

"Always assuming I'm making fun of you." I shake my head. He stares at me for a minute.

"I still can't believe you're moving." he nearly whispers. I just shrug in response. We're quiet until my bus pulls up.

"I'll see you tomorrow man." I tell him before boarding the bus. I glance at him through the window, noticing the blush that's become a part of him these last two days. He waves, then disappears in the crowd.  
All during the bus ride and the walk home after, I kept coming back to the same thought: Kyle. It had been so long since I'd seen him, but I can just imagine him now: nerdy and morally smug, with his stupid green hat... I doubt he's capable of changing much.  
I bit my lip lightly as I imagined an eighteen year old Kyle begging to please me, to submit to me. A shudder ran through my body, and I realized I should definitely think about something else until I'm behind closed doors...

As soon as I got inside my house I noticed the suitcases lined up by the door.

"Moom, I'm home!" I yelled. Within a few seconds she trotted out from the kitchen.

"Oh good sweetie. Now go pack up, we'll be leaving for our flight after you get home from school tomorrow." she smiled.

"Tomorrow?" I frowned before continuing.  
"Where are we headed?"

"Well it was either stay with grandma or go back to South Park, and I know how much you hate Nebraska." I nodded.

"Alright. But if we're leaving tomorrow there's some things I got to finish up tonight." I shrugged as I walked past her to my room.  
I flopped back onto my bed and pulled out my phone.

'Hey Keith, my mom just told me I'm leaving tomorrow after school. If you wanted to hangout again, it would have to be tonight.' I typed to him. I sighed, rubbing my forehead as I began to pack up my collection of metal band tees. My phone binged and I leisurely finished the pile I was working on before reading it.

'Damn fatass, you must think I'm some kinda whore' I laughed fully.

'Not really. I just know how horny you are for me.' I smiled as I texted back.

'Yeah, ok. You want to head over here then? My brother's out with his girlfriend for the night.' I physically shrugged in response as I read his reply.

'Yeah, but meet me half way beaner.' I typed before packing the rest of my cloths hastily.

I walked for a long time, music blaring and mind numb. I didn't care that I was leaving, I wouldn't miss it here, but it all made me uneasy for some reason. I didn't want to think about it, so I just turned up the volume on my iPod. After a while I saw Keith wave to me from the distance. I waved back and he jogged up to me.

"Hey. Gorgeous night out, huh?" he asked me with cheeks flushed. I shrugged, but smiled at him in amusement.

"Yeah and how about the broncos?" I replied to his small talk. He laughed, before nudging my side.

"Terrible compared to the 49ers." I rolled my eyes. Keith knew nothing about football. We walked toward his house in silence for a long while. It didn't feel awkward, but Keith was starting to look it.

"So... Are you moving back to Colorado?" he asks nervously.

"Yep. Flying there right after school tomorrow."

"And you'll keep in touch, right? Let me know if you find him?" I smiled lightly, glad he didn't use the Jew's name.

"Sure. You wont get all jealous and possessive, right?" I teased. He blushed furiously.

"Of course not! I mean, there's nothing to possess." he stuttered. I laughed at him.

As soon as we got inside his house he looked up at me nervously, signaling that I was now in complete control. I pressed him harshly into the wall as I kissed him. He gasped, and I didn't hesitate to take advantage of it. My left hand pressed firmly on his shoulder, pinning him to the wall, my right held his face to mine. He moaned and grinded up against me.

"Please Eric, please fuck me." god, his eyes were mushy and nearly pathetic. They looked fragile and every bit of me urged me to push him to the edge. My right hand forcefully pushed his head aside to give me better access to his neck. I licked and bit and sucked the dark skin there, as I rhythmically pressed my body against his. His legs were shaking, and I was pretty sure if I backed off he would fall to the ground harshly. So I pressed against him harder, my hands running down his sides possessively. This is my last night in California, and I am going to fuck his brains out.

When we had finished up and gotten ourselves dressed again, Keith walked over to the fridge, grabbing two beers. I took mine from him happily.

"I'm going to miss you Eric." he nearly whispered.

"Yeah. That sex was amazing." I replied hazily. He was silent for a minute, I might have hurt his feelings.

"And you know, I'll keep in touch." I added in an uncaring tone. He smiled lightly before nodding.

"I hope you do. Can you stay the night?" he asked hopefully. I shook my head.

"Nah, I still got to pack a shit ton." he nodded glumly. I stood up, and he walked me back to the door. Before leaving I took his face in my hand and kissed him fiercely. Then without a word I began to walk home.

There was a subtle breeze around me, and the night's chill felt amazing against my skin. I sighed, stretching my arms over my head. It's kind of funny, this walk home has become a bit of a refuge over the years; that time between school noise and home noise. I think I was actually going to miss it. I shook my head as I hopped up the steps to my house.

By the time I had finished packing it was practically time to get up for school. I sighed dramatically, before getting myself ready.

"just remember to come straight home poopsiekins!" my mom sang from the other room.

"Goddamn it! I know that ai'edy!" I yelled as I walked out the house. I hated going without sleep.

When I stepped off the bus I walked over to the guys who were again sitting under a large tree out front. I plopped down between Keith and Jack with a sigh. The group stared at me expectantly.

"So? Any news yet?" Jack asked hesitantly.

"After school today." I replied with a shrug. He frowned deeply.

"Well hey man, with all the money you've made us over the years with all your plans, I just want you to know that if you ever need a long distance crew, we're on board." he patted my shoulder and Doug nodded in agreement. I grinned.

"And some day we'll make one million dollars." I added as we got ready to head to our separate classes.

I got a lot more hugs and phone numbers throughout the day, but the rest of my classes seemed to blur by until I was walking toward the bus stop. I stopped in my tracks as I saw a large paper sign being held up by at least six random people. In glittering letters it read 'Take care Eric! We'll miss you!' every open space was filled with signatures and random messages. I smiled as walked over to them.

"This is unexpected." I mutter, trying to recognize the people holding the sign.

"Well, it was my idea, oh I hope you like it!" Doug grinned. I laughed lightly, shaking my head.

"Thanks guys, but I'm not really good with the faggy goodbyes." I said awkwardly. Jack grabbed the poster and folded it up neatly before handing it to me.

"Alright. Good luck man. I'll talk to you later." he grinned.

"Yeah. See you guys around." I smiled, looking primarly at my blushing Hispanic.


	4. Chapter 4

When I got home my mom was already waiting by a taxi out front. I grabbed my suitcases, tucking my new poster and crumpled handful of phone numbers in the outside pocket, and toss them into the taxi. With out another glance at the house, we head out.

The airport was as crowded as they usually are, all the lines moving much slower than they ought to be. Even when we got to the terminal we had to wait for freaking ever to board the fucking plane. Thankfully the flight itself didn't feel too long, and after picking up our luggage, my mom grabbed a cab to the apartment complex on the outer edge of South Park.

The place was bare and lifeless. A two bedroom hole in the wall with terrible lighting. I set my suitcases down in my tiny new room with a sigh.

"Is everything ok poopsie-doodle?" my mom asked as she peeked in. I rolled my eyes.

"Mom we don't even have any furniture! This sucks." I huffed as I crossed my arms.

"I'm sorry hon, but until the moving truck makes it here with the rest of our stuff we're just going to have to make do with what we have. Tell you what, why don't I go down to the store and make you some powdered doughnut pancake surprise!" she asked almost excitedly.

"Mom, I haven't had that in years." I rolled my eyes. It did sound good, but suddenly Keith's words came to mind. ...something about not having snacks because I'm totally hot now... Yeah I think that's how that went. I sighed.

"I think I'm just going to go for a walk." I said, surprising even me. I guess I took those walks to town for granted.

"Sure hun." she replied absently as she walked back to her room. Walking out the front door and running down the steps, I breathed in the fresh air deeply. My legs still felt cramped up from the flight, and stretching them just felt too good. I walked for a long time until I approached Stark's Pond. It was smaller than I remembered, but it still brought on a nostalgic peace. The full moon glittered in the water's reflection, the chilled breeze sweeping through me. I pulled my red jacket around me tighter; can't believe I forgot how cold it is here. I looked up, noticing a group on the other side of the pond. While it was nearly too dark to see who they were, their cigarette cherries glowed powerfully. I began walking towards them, hoping to see a familiar face, even if it just turned out to be those faggy goth kids. As I got closer however, I noticed an orange hoodie on the kid closest to me.

"Kinny?" I asked, cocking my head to the side slightly. He looked up at me while taking a drag of his cigarette.

"Who's this douch?" the kid next to him asked. God, only one person could sound so nasally and dumb.

"Ey! Craig's way more of a douch than I am you asshole!"

"Cartman?" Kenny asked, standing in front of me.

"In the flesh. What are you doing hanging out with Craig and.. Is that Bebe?" I gave a disgusted look.

"Uh, well, these are my stoner friends." he replied lamely. I looked him over. He was about half a foot shorter than me, his orange hood hung loosely, covering his face in shadow. Blond hair stuck out from the edges, it must be rather long.

"Stoner friends. Right. So where's Stan and Kahl?" I shoved my hand in my pocket, willing my face not to blush. He stares at me for a minute before turning back to Craig and Bebe.

"I'm gonna walk with Cartman a bit, I'll see you guys tomorrow?" he asked them. They nodded, waving him off, and the two of us began walking back the way I came.

"Cartman, you've been gone for four years, things have changed." he frowned up at me. I returned the look.

"like how?" I asked. He sighed.

"Well, I guess we'll start with Kyle... His mom sent him to this summer camp thing a few years back, a Jewish thing." he paused for a minute before continuing.  
"He came back at the end of summer, and he was completely different; he wouldn't talk to any of us, or anyone really. For a while he even missed a bunch of school. So Stan and I went to try to snap him out of it, only his mom wouldn't let us talk to him. I guess he renounced his faith and told her to fuck off. Anyways, long story short, without the two of you, Stan and I just grew apart. I hang out with these guys, and Stan hangs out with the jocks." he shrugged.

"Hang on, so none of you guys talk anymore?" I asked frowning. He shook his head.

"We just don't have anything in common. Stan's all into sports an spending time with Wendy, and Kyle's all brooding and self-isolating, and I'm hanging out here." he lit up another cigarette.

"Damn dude. Wait, if this started after he went to that camp, did you check it out?" I asked, trying to mask my concern. Kenny nodded.

"Of course. After getting sent away from his house it's the first thing we did. But it was a dead end. No one even remembered him. So then we went to Ike, but he couldn't do anything except tell us what was going on. Kyle just sits in his room listening to depressing music and screaming."

"Screaming?" I asked in shock. He nodded.

"He's a screamo-an emo that listens to sceam-"

"I know what a screamo is Kenny." I snapped before sighing. It sounded strange, and it was hard to imagine.

"So.. Kyle's an emo, Stan's a jock, and your a stoner..." I mumbled as I began feeling like my plan to seduce Kyle was slowly falling apart.

"Yep. What about you? What are you doing back?" he asks as we cut through the middle school parking lot.

"Just moved back in. I don't start school until Monday though." I shrugged.

"Huh. Finally nag your mom enough to leave Cali?" he smirked. I nodded, mostly lost in my own thoughts. We walked quietly for a while until I began to formulate a plan.

"Hm, so I guess we should start with Stan, right?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Start what?" he looked up at me startled.

"What do you mean what? What are we talking about? We're getting the band back together." I replied in a condescending tone.

"Look, Cartman, I think it's great that you're back, but you can't just undo all the distance that's gotten between all of us." I laughed.

"You're so gay Kenny. Look, we'll start with Stan. He may have grown into a jock asshole, but he's a hippy-fag deep down. He'll help us. We just need to appeal to his big faggy heart." I explained. Kenny frowned as he flicked his cigarette.

"I don't know man, things are quiet, but our groups' all work for us." he lights up a new cigarette.

"Seriously dude, I know you're immortal, but that shit's giving me a headache." I growled as I waved his smoke from my face. He gaped at me a minute.

"What did you just say?" he looked almost frozen.

"I said your smoke's giving me a headache so knock it off." he jogged up to me.

"No, not that, about me." he pulled his hood down and looked up at me with hopeful blue eyes.

"I... Said your immortal?" I looked around awkwardly.

"You know about that?" he grabbed my arm nearly desperately.

"Yeah, Kenny, it's kind of hard to forget how you use to die all the time." I scoffed as I pulled my arm away.

"I still die all the time! But no one ever remembers! How long have you known?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"I don't know, always? Look, can we get back to talking about the plan? Not everything's about you." I glared at him, but he just looked shocked and confused.

"Ok, yeah. I'm on board." he sighed. I grinned at him.

"Ok, you know where the palace apartments are?" he nodded.  
"Good. Meet me there after school and we'll go convince Stan. After that the real work begins..."


	5. Chapter 5

The next day Kenny met me just outside the apartment complex.

"Ok Kenny, I've been piecing together the information you gave me best I can, but to have a really solid plan I need more." I told him as I walked him back towards my apartment.

"Dude, this is where you're living?" he asked as he stepped in the door. It's true, it was smaller than even Kenny's house, and without any furniture it somehow seemed smaller and entirely devoid of life. I scoffed.

"I know, but my mom hasn't found a new job yet, and I can't pay for everything." I walked him to my room, showing him the groups of pages taped to my wall. I had worked most of last night to put it all on paper. I always think better when it's all laid out in front of me.

"So let's start with Stan; what else can you tell me about him?" I asked, gesturing to the group of papers to my right.

"Well he's usually either with Wendy, or football practice, or hanging out with the other jocks." he eyed my work suspiciously.

"Ok, I got that, but when? We can go online for the football schedule, but the rest will take some recon..." I pondered.

"Why can't we just confront him after one of his games?" Kenny crossed his arms. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Because, Kinny, this is how one stalks their prey. There are too many variables if we just charge in." I explained. This isn't even a money making scheme, and already this town is slowing down my plans. Kenny rolls his eyes, but allows me to continue.

"Now, if we want to convince Stan to join us, we're going to need to account for all the variables. One of us needs to find out more about these guys he hangs out with, while the other looks up what they can about his football schedule."

"Let me guess, I have to trail the football jerks." Kenny crosses his arms with a frown.

"Are you kidding? These are jocks, Kenny. Even if you can manage to keep up with them, they're going to smell your smoker bitch-ass from a mile away. No, it's better if you do the boring research..."

"Right, so what, head down to the library and print off a schedule? Then what?"

"Then call me, and we'll meet back here." I explained, pointing at the floor.

"Ok, but I'll have to use the pay phone, you have a couple quarters I can use?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Goddamn it, Kenny. You poor piece of shit... Ok fine here, go." I grab some change from my pocket before flinging the door open for him. He smiles up at me before leaving. I sigh loudly, then grab my coat and follow him out.

I start by walking towards the high school. Jocks tend to cluster near by there after practices. I stop suddenly, as I see a familiar green hat in the distance. Suddenly I loose all notion of my plan, and take off after it. I push past people as I try not to loose sight of it. Just a bit further... I grab his shoulder, turning him towards me.

"Ike?" I ask, feeling the disappointment stab through me. Of course it wouldn't be Kyle...

"Cartman? Damn dude, you look good!" he grins up at me with his big Canadian mouth and beady little eyes... I just grunt in response.

"you thought I was Kyle, right?" he asks sadly.

"Yeah, sorry." I half whisper, feeling pretty dumb.

"Don't be. But you probably wouldn't recognize him anymore." he seems hesitant.

"Yeah, I heard. Emo, right?" I reply distantly.

"More than you know. But if you've heard, why did you think I was him?" There was a long moment of silence as I tried to start thinking properly again.

"I dont know, I guess just hoping Kenny was lying." I again speak much softer than I realized. He looks at me sadly.

"If you need to see him I can sneak you in." he offers with a shrug. Finally my mind begins to turn again, and I clear my throat.

"Yeah, but not just yet. Kenny and I are going to get the group back, but we have to start with Stan." I put my hands in my pockets awkwardly.

"Alright man, count me in!" he grins up at me. I pause for a while. It's not like he looked anything like Kyle, but that damn hat... It's going to keep throwing me off.

"This could really help Kyle, I'm in." he tells me more seriously.

"Ok, fine. I'm doing some recon right now, I guess you can come with." I'm looking at his hat the whole time. He sighs, pulling it off his head, exposing his thin black mess.

"I can put it in my backpack for now?" he offers, looking at me curiously. I just nod, then lead the way back toward the high school.

"So are you back for good?" he asks me hopefully. I give him a strange look.

"Yeah, it seems that way. Why?" he grins up at me.

"Just checking. Come on, I've seen Stan and his friends hanging out at this sub shop around the corner after every practice. They'll probably be here soon." Ike leads me over to a small sandwich shop, and we sit down in the far corner.

"So what are trying to find out?" he asks, leaning towards me from across the table. I shrug.

"Anything. Weaknesses, things that have changed, signs that some things might be the same. We're observing." I reply a I flip through the menu. A minute later a large noisy group walks in.

"YEAH! We are going to dominate North Park!"

"They don't stand a chance with Stan the man as quarter back!" I roll my eyes. Jocks are so lame. I peak over the menu, watching as Stan, Clyde, Token, and Kevin took up a large table.

I pulled a scrap of paper out my pocket and began scribbling down some notes. Ike chuckles before taking a full notebook out his bag and setting it in front of me. I look up at him in surprise.

"Very nice, Ike." after about half an hour of note taking, my phone starts ringing.

"Hey Kenny." I answer quickly.

"Uh, hey Eric, it's Jack." I paused.

"Jack? What?" I asked rudely. He was interrupting important work.

"Mr. Motishimo just called me, he asked to talk to you about the conference this year." he told me nervously.

"Well what did you say?" I practically snapped.

"I told him you weren't at the office at the moment and that I'd let you know to call him back. So, yeah, if you plan to keep working with his company, you better call him." I sighed.

"Ok, thanks Jack." I said before hanging up. Ike raised an eyebrow.

"Unrelated." I said quickly, before noticing Stan was walking this way.

"Damn! We've been spotted..." I muttered to Ike.

"Oh my god. Cartman?" Stan gaped. I stood up in front of him.

"Oh my god, Stan!" I mocked. He was about my height, maybe an inch or so taller, but his frame seemed thin and fragile, unlike my own beastly build.

"What are you doing back?" he asked, still looking shocked.

"Moved back here yesterday."

"Damn dude, you look trim. You should sign up for football this year." he grinned. I rolled my eyes.

"Football's for fags man, hockey's my sport." I shrugged. He stared at me for a minute, before looking past me to Ike.

"Oh no. No, I told you, no. I'm done, it's not happening." he told us firmly.

"What's not?" I asked, turning to look at a slightly red Ike.

"Kyle. He's not my problem anymore, ok? I tried, but he doesn't want help. I don't care what scheme the two of you have come up with, the answer's no." he crossed his arms.

"Aw, come on Stan!" Ike begged, walking over to us.

"It's not even a scheme! More like a... Reunion. With booze." I tried. Stan just rolled his eyes.

"So what, you me Kenny and Ike are just going to kidnap Kyle and throw a party for him? Do you have any idea how stupid that is?" he growled at me. I rolled my eyes.

"No ones being kidnapped!"

"Then good luck getting him there!" Stan laughed. Ok, now I'm getting pissed.

"Come on Stan, you were emo once, you know what it's like!" I reminded him.

"I was goth for less than a week! He's been emo for over three years! There's nothing I can do, so I'm out. He doesn't want our help." he argued with a snarl. This was going to be harder than I thought...

"Come on Stan, it's just a small gathering. Just the four of you." Ike nearly begged.

"He won't come." He crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Ok, but if we can convince him to come, can we count you in?" I bargined. Stan paused, thinking it through.

"If he wants to come with, then fine. But only if it's his decision." he looks pissed as he turns to catch up with his friends outside.

"Sweet." I mutter in relief.


	6. Chapter 6

We stayed at the sub shop for a while as Ike began to tell me more about his side of Kyle's story.

"Well for a while after you left everything was normal. Then about a month later, Kyle got sent to that Jewish camp. When he got back, he hardly said a word. If he did, it was only after pestering him for a while, and even then it was just a simple, cold response. He even ditched a bunch of school." he paused staring at the table.

"I came home from school one day and he and my mom were yelling at each other. She wanted to know what was wrong with him, and he obviously didn't want to talk about it. So he was yelling at her, and I swear to god he was being straight up brutal. By the time he stormed out my mom was in tears, and you know what a tough bitch she is. Anyways, after a few weeks Stan and Kenny came over and talked to me. They said they checked out the camp and came up empty, so they wanted to know if I could help. I snuck them into the house one night, but I don't think Kyle was too happy about it, because they never tried to help him after that." he tapped his finger against the table as though to distract himself.

"So they gave up after how long?" I asked, feeling a burning anger in the pit of my stomach. This is really all Stan and Kenny's fault. I had a simple plan to seduce and conquer Kyle, but they couldn't care enough to keep him in good condition while I was gone. I clenched my jaw tightly.

"Two months, three maybe? I keep trying to convince them to keep them going, but, well, after the first year or two I think they had stopped thinking about him all together. You know I just keep thinking that the four of you always kept each other in balance, so if anyone could bring my brother back..." he trailed off, wincing. There was a long pause while I thought through all the new information. Suddenly my phone rang, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I ask as I bring the phone to my ear.

"Hey I printed off all the dates of football games and practices, so I'm headed back to your place."

"Alright, We'll meet you there." I reply before hanging up.

"Come on Ike, it's back to home base." As we walked down the road I turned to him.

"What do you think the odds are of us getting him to come to this thing?" I ask nearly worried. He's quiet for a long time.

"I don't know. But maybe you could bribe him? That might help." he suggested with a small laugh.

"Bribe him? With what?"

"He's got his vices, and if you offer to pay for it for him, he might be more willing to give it a shot." he explained sadly, still not looking at me directly.

"K, but what vices?" I start to notice actual concern in my voice, so I quickly add "I have to know what kind of money I'm putting down here." he's quiet until were almost to the apartment complex.

"Acid, ecstasy, mushrooms, weed, alcohol, honestly most anything." he says it so quickly that I barely hear it. I again feel my innards burn, and I clench my jaw tightly. Another minute of silence later, we see Kenny wave to us from the front step of my building.

"Hey Kenny. You finally on board?" Ike asks, crossing his arms.

"Yeah Kenny, it's about time." I add in. Kenny glares at Ike.

"Yeah, I am. Now that Cartman's here we actually have a chance. You know as well as I do that he won't listen to just me or Stan. If we have any shot at all, it has to be all of us." he explains, pouting slightly.

"Alright, come on, I need to get back to the drawing board." I push past Kenny and lead the two into the apartment.

"Fuck, dude." Ike says as he looks around the room. I roll my eyes, and continue to my room. I rip the notes out of Ike's notebook and tape them into Stan's section, making sure to note his reluctance to help. Then I move to Kyle's section, and begin listing briberies.

"Hey Kenny! Do you think you can get any of this stuff for me?" Kenny and Ike walk in from the other room, and the blond looks through the list.

"Yeah man. Its expensive though." he shrugs.

"Ok... So I can get my mom to get the booze for us, so if you can just get... Hm, we'll go with weed and mushrooms. That sound good Ike?" I ask as I circle the mentioned vices.

"Yeah, but you're going to want to buy quite a bit, just to be sure." he scratches his chin.

"When can you get it to me, Kenny?" I turn to him, and he just shrugs.

"I just need to talk to Craig, so whenever I can find him."

"Ok, call him up and get me a price estimate." I grin. This might seriously work. Kenny's quiet for a minute.

"Can I use your phone?"

"Goddamn it, Kinny. You poor piece of crap.." I mumble as I dig my cellphone out for him. He takes it into the next room.

"So once we get this stuff for him, what's next?" Ike asked. I continued studying the drawing board.

"Well I have to make him the offer." I muttered, tapping the pen against my leg.

"Ok. Well if he's at home, then he's locked in his room. My parents will be near by, so either I let you in through my window and hope Kyle opens his door, or just knock right on his window." he shrugs.

"How much do you want?" Kenny asks, peeking back into the room. I roll my eyes.

"Enough to bribe him, Kenny." I answer simply. He nods, stepping back out into the living room. He appears a minute later.

"Clyde's out dealing with a customer, but Bebe said she can sell it to us." Kenny shrugged.

"Ok, so how much?" I asked, making a 'hurry up' motion with my hand.

"Two hundred."

"Two hundred?! Goddamn, how the hell does your pov-ass afford to be a druggie?" I stare at Kenny as he blushes furiously.

"W-well I don't buy this much." he stutters before continuing.

"Anyways, come on, I told Bebe we'd be there soon." he gestures towards the door. I roll my eyes, but follow him and Ike out.


	7. 7: meeting the new Kyle

As soon as we step outside Kenny lights up a cigarette.

"So where're we headed after Bebe's?" he asks. I wave the smoke away from my face.

"To bribe Kyle." I stare down at him in annoyance before adding

"Then to Stan's after Kyle agrees."

We walk for a long time, and soon I realize that we had crossed to the entire other side of town. Strange, it didn't even seem as long as my average California walk. I glare at Kenny who's panting a bit.

"That's why you don't smoke a carton a day, you asshole." he flips me off, before knocking on the door. A minute later Bebe appears.

"Seriously Kenny? What's with the crowd?" she hisses before letting us in.

"Sorry Bebe. But it's cool." he assures her.

"Yes, now if you don't mind, we'd like to buy drugs." I add, earning a glare from Kenny. Bebe sighed and pulled two bags from her purse, and I paid her the two hundred. This better work. She then grabbed a smaller bag and handed it to Kenny.

"I'll let Craig know what you owe." she told him with a smirk.

"Thanks Bebe." Kenny muttered before stashing his bag. Thankfully I was wearing cargo pants, because my bags were a lot bigger.

As the door closed behind us I turned to Kenny.

"Sex, right?" I ask suspiciously. He turns bright red.

"Wwhat? Of course not!" he yells as he walks ahead. I turn to Ike, rolling my eyes.

When Kyle's house came into view, Ike called us over.

"Ok, here's how it's gonna go, I'm going to go inside and try to talk to Kyle first. Then I can let you guys in. But if I don't come to the window after a minute or so, it probably means my parents are delaying me. So I guess if that happens the best I can do is keep them away from you while you knock on his window." he told us as he lead us towards the tree next to Kyle's window.

"Alright well, good luck." he said before walking back to the front door. I climbed up the tree with ease, laughing at Kenny's failed attempts. Finally I held out my arm and helped him up. Kyle's curtain's were closed, so I wasn't too worried about stealth. We waited there for a while, and when it became clear that Ike wasn't in there I edged toward the window. I leaned forward to knock, but last second I lost my balance.  
I flung the curtains off my face, feeling intense pain all over. Then I looked up, and none of that mattered. A pain in my chest out weighed all the scrapes by far. In front of me Kyle was sitting on the floor, covering his mouth with his hands, staring at me with horrified eyes, and in front of him, Craig mimicked his expression as he stuffed his sloppy erection back in his pants.

"Oh shit, Kenny, wait!" Craig yelled before dashing out Kyle's door. Kyle and I stared at each other for a long time. His red hair was straightened with black highlights. Eyeliner and black eye shadow framed his large emerald eyes from behind his bangs. His eyebrow was pierced, as well as three piercings on each ear. He wore a studded collar and a grey long sleeved shirt that was cut from shoulder to shoulder. My eyes trailed over him, taking in his small, pale form.

"C-Cartman? Did you just smash through my window?" he stutters. The pain in my chest flares up.

"Kyle. Were you just sucking Craig's dick?" my heart was pumping, and I had never been so angry. Kyle blushes at me before standing. He crosses his arms, pure rage crossing his face. I stand too, and notice how adorably tiny he is. The top of his head barely reaches my collar bone, and his thin form looks like I could snap him in half without even trying. I blush lightly at the pissed off emo staring up at me with wide emerald eyes.

"what are you doing here, Cartman?" he asks flatly.

"I just moved back to town." looking down at him, I begin to loose my mind a little. I know I had intended to dominate and conquer him, but somehow seeing him so close I can't imagine being with him like how I was with Keith. I can't imagine dominating something so fragile.

"Not here South Park, here, as in in my house, in my room?" he asks as he clenched his teeth. I stared at him for a minute, watching his pale jaw twitch in anger.

"Oh yes, I'm here to get you to come to my South Park reunion tomorrow. You, me, Stan, and Kenny." I began. He turns away.

"Fuck off fatass." he growls. It took all I had not to make a sound about how cute that was.

"Very well, then I'm here to bribe you into coming." I take a step closer, but suddenly remember the pain in my whole body. I look down and start pulling shards of glass out of my skin. Kyle turns and looks at me for a long time. As I pull a particularly large shard out of my shoulder, Kyle sighs.

"Come on, there's a first aid kit in the bathroom. Then you can tell me what you think you have to bribe me with." he rolls his eyes.

Kyle leads me to the edge of the bathtub, motioning for me to sit. I comply as he grabs the first aid kit. He starts by cleaning up and bandaging the largest gash on my shoulder.

"So what do you think you have for me?" he's focused on my cut as he asks.

"Drugs." I say simply, reaching in my cargo pocket with my free hand. I hold up the bag of weed with a smile. He looks startled at it before continuing working in my cut. Goosebumps crawl all down my arm as he pulls the alcohol away and blows on the wound gently.

"And shrooms too, but it's in the other pocket." I say, trying to keep my mind. He looks at me suspiciously before reaching his hand in my pocket and pulling out the large bag of mushrooms. I can feel an intense blush rise to my checks.

"How did you get this?" he asks as the drugs draw him away from my wounds. I shrug.

"Clyde and Bebe." and that overwhelming anger comes back. I stand up so fast that Kyle jumps back in surprise.

"That's not why you were doing that right? You owe him money?" I accuse. he blushes furiously again before standing.

"Shut up fatass, that's none of your goddamn business!" he pokes my chest.

"I swear to god I'm going to murder this town! I'm gone for only four years, and everything goes to shit!" I rant. Kyle looks up at me in confusion, before lightly placing his hand on my arm. I blush as I look down at the little Jew.

"Sit down Cartman, there's still a lot of glass in you." he says softly. I do as he says, and he sits back on the stool in front of me. He's quiet as he oh so gently removes another shard of glass from my arm. I hiss slightly, causing a smile to flicker across his face.

"So how long is this reunion going to take?" he asks as he presses another pad of alcohol against my arm.

"All night. I wanted to throw it at Stan's house, but he's been such a buttlicker I think we'll have to do it at my shitty place." I let my eyes fall closed as Kyle takes my arm in his hands, examining it for any further injuries. His fingers run lightly across my skin, and for a second I can't breathe.

"Other arm." he tells me. I hold out my right arm to him. Neither one of us says another word as he continues on this side. He doesn't look up at me, but I can't take my eyes off him. I wasn't expecting any of this, but I definitely was not expecting him to be so... small... I can't imagine dominating something so frail, but still I felt more drawn to him than I had ever anticipated. So what do I want from him? I watch him lean towards my arm, blowing lightly on the last cut. He places a band aid over it, and a chill runs down my spine as he finally looks up at me.

"So I keep these bags, and all I have to do is come to your party?" he asked suspiciously.

"No Kahl. You also have to stay the night and try to have a good time." I finally tore my eyes away from him, instead inspecting one of the bandages on my hand.

"Alright. I'll be there." He sighs as he stands up. We walk back to his room, and he stashes the bags in the ceiling before walking over to me.

"Sorry, My parents know I had Craig here, but I'm technically grounded, so you have to sneak back out." he explains as he opens the intact side of the window. I roll my eyes.

"By the way, bring a sleeping bag, we don't have any furniture yet." I say as I climb out onto the tree. I look back at him as he laughs.

"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow fatass."

My breath gets caught in my throat, and my heart starts beating rapidly. What kind of Jew spell am I under?


	8. Chapter 8

I'm staring at the ground as I make the journey back home. I had this terrible feeling in my gut, and even though I couldn't quite place it, I decided it must be anger. I silently vow to beat Craig to shit the next time I see him. I glance out over Stark's pond.

"Speak of the devil.." I mutter as I see Kenny and Craig arguing on the other side of the pond.

"Come on Ken, don't be like that, you know how this works."

"I just think you could have told me that you're fucking Kyle."

"We aren't fucking!"

"You still should have told me!"

"I thought it would upset you!"

"No shit it upset me!"

"Craig!" I yell out. My bloods pumping and rage is driving my skin. The two turn to me.

"Woah, Cartman, man, it's not what you think" Craig starts. I smile evilly at the smaller boy.

"Yeah why don't you tell me about it while I beat your brains out. You know, good way to pass the time." I say as I grab his collar.

"Look, he owes me four hundred dollars! We compromised!" he squealed out as I gripped him tighter.

"How many blowjobs you get for four hundred?" I ask, lifting him off the ground simply because I could. He looks desperately to Kenny, who still just looks shocked.

"Craig! Answer me." I demanded in a quiet yet forceful tone. Finally he looks up at me. He has a look of determination, or maybe acceptance. He knows I'll beat him to shit no matter what he says.

"normally it's about twenty bucks a visit. But for Kyle I'd pay fifty." and that was it. No more taunting, no more questions, all I could see was red until I felt Kenny pulling back on my arm, trying to stop me from throwing another punch. I look down at the bloody wheezing mess of Craig laying in the snow. I stand up, flipping through my wallet. I toss four hundred on the ground in front of him.

"If I ever see you near Kyle again... No one will be able to stop me." I spit before walking away.

My arms were shaking as I walked back towards my house. God, I wanted to kill him so bad... I glance over my shoulder, considering going back and finishing the job. Kenny was sitting in the snow, holding Craig's head in his lap. I rolled my eyes. Figures.

When I got home I slammed the door behind me. My nerves were still on fire, and my adrenalin was still pumping fiercely. I yelled out in frustration before punching the wall next to me. I pulled my fist out of the wall before pacing the living room a few times.

Craig dominated my Jew. Craig. I growled again, cursing this drive in my bones. I needed to calm down. I got on the floor, and started doing pushups. It was dumb, but it's what Jack use to do when he was pissed, and I have to admit, it did help a little. I kept at it until my mind went numb, and even then I waited until my muscles followed suit. Finally I collapsed back against the wall.

"Stupid Jew." I half whispered.

The door rattled for a minute before my mom walked in.

"Is everything ok hun?" she asks, eyeing the hole in the wall.

"Yeah mom." I place my palms against my eyes.

"I'm having a reunion party-thing tomorrow." I told her as she took some groceries into the next room.

"That's nice hun." she hummed. I waited a long minute before walking over to her.

"meeem?" I started in my best little kid voice.

"can you pick up some alcohol for my party?" I hope to god my voice is cute enough.

"Oh, I don't know hun, aren't you and your friends under age?" shes still focused on the groceries.

"how much do you need to buy a bottle of vodka, a case of Mickey's, and some jäger mister?"

"Eric, sweetie, I don't think-"

"You'll probably need about three hundred?" I added in my normal voice. If all else failed I could always bribe her. She stopped what she was doing before looking over at me.

"Tomorrow?" she asks guiltily.

"Thanks Meem! You're the best!" I reply back in my childish voice. I walk back to my room, staring at the drawing board. I began tearing it down piece by piece. I didn't really need it begin with.

The next morning I woke up early. The guys were probably not even half done with the school day. I sighed loudly as I clicked my phone shut. I suppose I should try to make my room more party friendly. I set up my laptop on top of one of my suitcases, and set up the other as a make shift table for snacks. Goddamn it I still needed to buy snacks. I checked the kitchen to see what my mom bought before getting myself ready and heading out. I skipped down the steps outside, and began heading towards the local grocery store. About half way there I heard a familar voice coming from around the corner.

"He's a total freak, you should have seen poor Craig when he came over last night. Honestly if it weren't for Kenny he could have died out there." I stood still, a little amused by Bebe's conversation.

"Does anyone know why he did it?" the other girl asked.

"No! Honestly, you thought Cartman was a psychopath back in grade school, you don't even want to see him now."

"Jesus, Stan's going over to his house tonight!"

"Well stop him! Even if they still all get along, Cartman's going to drag them all straight to Hell." I walked over, tilting my head slightly. Wendy looked at me from over Bebe's shoulder, turning pale.

"What's up ladies?" I asked with a smirk. Bebe jumped.

"Cartman! What the hell!" she squealed.

"And here I thought I had mellowed out in my old age." I laughed. Wendy blushed as Bebe looked furious.

"Like hell! I saw Craig last night! You could have killed him!"

"And I really wanted to."

"Why? What did Craig ever do to you? We've been cool to you!" Bebe whined. Pushing my chest, which only served to push her back a little.

"Oh come on, Craig had it coming. Prostitutions illegal." I pointed out. She gaped at me.

"So you beat him half to death?! What the fuck!"

"I could have turned him in to the police, but I think this got the message across better." I smile as Wendy leans towards Bebe.

"He's right, at least Craig's not in jail." she whispered.

"That doesn't make it right!" Bebe screeched.

"Jesus, Bebe, get that sand out of your vagina. It's not like Craig was right either." I shrug. The two glare at me before walking away. As they leave I see Wendy turn back to look at me.

"When the hell did Cartman get so hot?" I hear her say as they continue to walk away. I couldn't hear Bebe's reply, but she looked pissed. I laughed, shaking my head as I kept on my way to Jim's drug store.

I stopped off at the atm first. I spent all my cash savings yesterdaY, but thankfully I had been making quite a bit of money from my on going California schemes. After that I picked up some cheesey poofs and snacky cakes, as well as some soda. Kyle use to love orange crush. I stopped before picking up the case, wondering to myself how the hell I know that. I shake my head and grab the case anyways. I walked home with a case of orange crush in one hand, and a bag of junk food in the other. I wish I had a more comfortable place to throw this get together, maybe somewhere with an xbox, but at least I had a decent DVD collection. I hopped back up my stairs, placing the new snacks in the kitchen. My room was a still a little messy despite not having much in it. I began sorting through cloths, placing most of it back into the suitcase, and the rest in the hamper. I stopped as I picked up the folded poster my class in California made for me. After a moment of hesitation I taped it up on my ceiling, and fell back onto my sleeping bag. I laid there for a while, reading the random notes strangers had written me.

'Eric, you probably won't remember me, but I'll never forget you. I always felt like everything in my life was out to get me. Then you transferred in and got half the staff at school fired. The new staff is much more encouraging, and I have passed my classes ever since...'

'Eric, we watched you grow from a narsisitic fatty, to an apathetic hottie. You're still a cunt, but you'll be missed.'

'Eric, you are the strongest person I've ever met. I know you have a lot of personal issues as everyone does, but still you're always looking toward the future and planning your next step. Don't let anything hold you back.'

'Eric, you changed my life. I've been a pussy for as long as I've been alive, but when our class got held hostage last year you inspired me beyond belief. I'll never forget watching you take down that gunman. I knew one of the kids that died that day. His mom says shes always so thankful to you because of how many more kids could have died had you not acted. You are the coolest man alive.'

I laughed at that one pretty hard. The gunman had come to our school because I conned them out of eleven thousand dollars. Luckily they split up to look for me and I was able to take them out one at a time. That's what they get for buying stolen cars. My eyes wandered to the longest note that Keith had signed in his girly handwriting.

'Eric, you are by far the most infuriating person I've ever met. Your racist and sexist, and over all treat everyone around you like animals. I'm pretty sure you believe you're above every other human on earth. But somehow I can't argue with you. You somehow manage to pull off the most impossible schemes and even on the rare occasion that you get caught, you still manage to be above the law. You piss me off every day, but I can't imagine life without you. Over the last year I've known you, it's like you reached inside me and pulled the real me out. There's something amazing about you, and even though your ego's pretty massive, I hope you never forget that. I hope all the best for you in Colorado, and when you find him I want to hear all about it. Call me'

I sighed loudly. There's nothing to tell. Sure I could explain about Kyle's dark... strange... smallness... or how I had to bribe him with drugs to get him to hang out with me... But over all I didn't even know what was going on. I was in the middle of a plan and I had no endgame. That thought freaked me out quite a bit.

I checked my phone again, noting that I still had over an hour before I was suppose to meet the guys at the high school. Whatever, it's better than sitting around here. I hopped up, throwing on my jacket before leaving the apartment again.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N:: Hey guys! So eventually I'm going to be writing Kyle's POV on this whole story. The dialog is pretty much going to be word for word, but I hope I make it interesting enough to be worth reading. :) Let me know what you think about it! :)  
_

_But of course, first, we go further into Cartman's side of the story..._

* * *

I sat on the bench near the high school for over an hour. Scolding myself for wearing a thermal today, I strip off my jacket; I guess I'll have to carry it on the way home. I sighed loudly, checking my phone again. Just another few minutes. I roll my sleeve up, picking at a band aid that had nearly worn off. I shivered lightly as I remembered how delicately Kyle placed them on me.

"It's cold out here, dude. You should put that jacket on." Kenny grinned as he plopped down next to me, dropping his packed sleeping bag in the snow in front of him.

"Nah, I got too hot." I shrug. He smirks at me.

"What Kinny?" I glare down at him.

"Nothing." he pauses.

"I just bet you're hoping Kyle agrees." I look around quickly, making sure no one was close enough to hear that.

"Shut up Kinny!" I hiss with a blush. He just chuckles to himself.

"So I'm right. I knew you wouldn't beat a man half to death for something like that. Unless of course love was involved." he nearly whispered that second part. I snorted slightly.

"Really Kenny? Grow up." it didn't come out as sure as it was meant to be, and I felt my face heat up. Weird. We're quiet until Stan shows up.

"I can't believe you guys got him to agree to hang out with us." He says without looking at us. He sits down next to Kenny.

"You have no idea how long Kenny and I-"

"Two months." I cut in. What a douche bag. He pauses, looking hurt.

"Yeah. And it never went well." he warned. I rolled my eyes as I stood up and stretched. Through the crowd I saw the emo in question walking over to us. He was wearing a dark blue tight Teeshirt-which was again cut from shoulder to shoulder-under a loose fitting mesh hoodie. He again wore the studded collar, but also added sweat bands on both wrists. His dark skinny jeans lead to studded steel toe boots that looked like they had at least an inch of lift.

Kenny laughed, and I tore my eyes away from Kyle to glare at him.

"You're so full of shit an denial." he says quietly. Stan looks between us in confusion.

"Hey guys." Kyle says shyly as he walks up to us.

"Kyle. Good to see you, man." Stan smiled at him.

"Dude aren't you cold?" Kenny asked, eyeing the thin mesh hoodie. Kyle shrugs.

"A little, but I forgot my coat today."

"So off to Cartman's house, right?" Stan asks as he stands up. It was pretty weird having someone taller than me around.

"Yeah it's a bit of a walk though." I shrug before leading the way. A few minutes into the walk, Kenny and Stan start talking, dragging behind me and Kyle. My heart was pumping, and I tried to keep myself from looking at him as much as I could. He shivers next to me, and I stare at the jacket in my arms. I sigh, before holding it out to him. In my peripheral I see the startled look on his face. He hesitates before taking it from me.

"Thanks." he says suspiciously. I attempt to fight off a blush.

"Just try not to get your Jew germs all over it." I say a lot quieter than I meant to. He laughs lightly. I glance down at him, and smile at how huge the thing is on him. I feel a flutter inside me, and force myself to look away. Cannot jeopardize the mission. Even if it did kind of start to warp and crumble before my eyes, I have to stick to the plan until I figure out what it all means. Get the group together. Check. Now what? Shit, I can't think straight...

"I heard about Craig." Kyle tells me. I look down at him, sure that my face must be bright red by now. What am I suppose to say to that? I glance behind me to make sure Kenny and Stan are still far enough away.

"Really? What happened to Craig?" I decide playing innocent is my best option. I glance over at him as he rolls his emerald eyes.

"I don't know why you did it, but thanks." he says as though ignoring me. I swear to god my heart's about to pop, what the hell did he do to me?! As though by miracle, my phone started ringing. I checked the id, suddenly frowning. I turned to Kyle with a blush.

"Can you give me a minute?" I asked, gesturing toward Stan and Kenny. Kyle looked up at me in confusion.

"Uh, sure." when I had gotten far enough ahead I answered.

"I thought you said you wouldn't be all jealous and possessive." I laughed into the phone.

"I-I'm not! This is business I swear!" Keith stutters. I hear Jack laughing in the background.

"Of course it is, but you had to wrestle for the right to call me, yeah?" I teased. If it was business Jack would have called me himself.

"I.. I just... Shut up, ok? This is important." the laughter in the background grew.

"I know, I know, it's not your fault you can't resist my sexy voice." finally my insides felt normal again.

"Seriously, Eric-"

"-I am seriously." god the kids too easy to fuck with. He sputters a bit, and Jack's laughters reaching hysterical.

"Eric! What ever your saying to him's hilarious! You should see the look on his face!" I hear him yell out.

"All right, all right. What's up?" I ask with a sigh.

"Mr. Motishimo called again, so you should really call him back like now. I told him you were out of town on business."

"Alright I'll call him now. We'll talk later, alright?" I say to wrap things up.

"Yeah. Sounds good." he says before I hang up. One more call...

"_Moshi-Moshi_" Mr Motishimo answered.

"_Sensei kon'nichiwa, watashi wa anata ga watashi to hanashitakatta rikai dekimasu ka_?" I replied. I learned Japanese two years ago when I raced with a group named the yakuza. Turns out it comes in handy when dealing with a lot large company CEOs.

"_Hai, Erikku, watashi wa anata ga kotoshi no kaigi de watashi no sekyuriti o rīdo shite soko ni iru koto o shinrai dekimasu ka_?" he asked me.

" _wa giron shite ita yō ni watashi wa kaigi de o ai shimasu_." I assured him.

" _wa sore o tanoshiminishiteimasu_." he told me before hanging up. I rolled my eyes before letting the guys catch up to me.

"What was that?" Stan asks.

"What was what?"

"You speak Japanese?" Kenny asked.

"Oh. You could hear that, huh?" I blush lightly, hoping they didn't catch my bit with Keith.

"What conference?" Kenny asked.

"What? Why do you speak Japanese?" I scoffed down at him. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"Because I'm a Japanese princess, dude."

"Still?" I ask, he just grins up at me.

"Well it not like I've been there recently, but languages are like bicycles." Kenny shrugs.

"So what conference?" Stan asks me.

"Some big business thing in Sacramento, I've been leading this guys security team for the last two years, and he just needed to make sure I'd be there this year." I shrug.

"And what do you get out of it?" Kyle asks quietly. I looked down angrily at the Jew. Well, I was angry... Those green eyes stared at me in suspicion and disbelief.. Shit there goes my heart again.

"I uh.. I get paid. And get good connections." and also get the opportunity to steal valuable secrets from easily manipulated people...

"Right." Kyle muttered as Kenny and I lead us into the apartment complex. Stan and Kyle walked in a bit more hesitantly. I walked into my kitchen, smiling at the booze on the counter, and the note from my mom saying she'd be home late tomorrow.

"Make yourselves at home." I grin at them. Kenny immediately grabbed himself a Mickey's, and offered one to Stan.

"No, I uh, I can't stay all night, I promised Wendy I'd drop by her house on my way home tonight." Stan scratches his neck awkwardly.

"Stan, stop being such a fag about your girlfriend. I promise not to drag you to hell." I roll my eyes.

"How the hell?" he asks quietly. I chuckle lightly before walking back to my room to set up the movie, Kenny following behind me.

"Nice! Fight club!" Kenny grins at me.

Before long we're all sitting on our sleeping bags, laughing and enjoying the movie. Kenny and I have each torn through three Mickey's while Kyle and Stan are barely through with their first.

"God, fucking classic." I grin as the movie come to a close. Stan's already looking through my DVDs, and Kenny went to grab the jagermister. I looked down at the little emo sitting awkwardly at my side.

"You ok?" I ask him softly. He gets very still, not looking up at me.

"Kahl?" I say a little louder.

"I don't think I should be drinking." he's so goddamn quiet that I lean my ear down a little.

"Relax, ok? No pressure." I speak quietly due to our close proximity. He laughs lightly, and find myself wishing I could have seen it.

Kenny returns with the jagermister and quite a few shot glasses.

"Ok. Drinking game!" he announces. We all turn our attention to him.

"we line up all our shots, last person to finish has to answer one question about the four years since we've been together, and gets disqualified from the next round." he explains in a slur as he lines them up on four separate books.

"I don't know man..." Stan objected. Kenny scoffed.

"Come on dude, you can't tell me that your not a little curious about all that." He points at the ceiling. We all look up at my poster, and I can feel a light blush on my cheeks.

"Huh." Stan hums quizzically.

"I'm in." Kyle agrees. I glance over at him, blushing as I watch him read.

"Alright." I sigh, but move into the circle. We all sit in front of one of the books, and wait for Kenny to give the signal. He lifts his finger and we begin. I grin as I realize I finished first. Kenny was right behind me, and Kyle behind Kenny. Stan flicked us off as he takes down his fourth.

"One more Stan, you can do it!" Kenny laughs. Stan finishes off his row with a cringe.

"Alright! Fine, what do you want to know?" Kenny grinned.

"Did you and Bebe fuck last year?" he asked without hesitating. Stan looked mortified.

"What? Come on, you two don't want to ask that, right?" he pleads.

"I don't really care." I shrug.

"Kyle?" Stan turns to him. I see the hesitance cross his face.

"It's not a big deal, dude. I mean no one you hang out with talks to any of us anyways." the emo shrugs. Stan sighs.

"Fine, yea, ok. But Wendy and I broke up two months before that. I had no idea we'd get back together." he justifies.

"Relax dude, I just know now that I can stop calling Bebe a liar." Kenny grins before pouring the three of us a new line of shots. He raises his finger again and again I finish first, Kyle a split second behind me.

"Ok, ask away." Kenny raises his hands after finishing his last shot. Kyle looks up at me, but I just shrug.

"Are you and Craig together?" Kyle asks shyly. Kenny blushes, and Stan looks shocked.

"Not in any official sense." he replies awkwardly, filling Kyle and my shot glasses.

"Well... Sorry, then. I didn't know." Kyle blushes a little. Stan looks between the three of us awkwardly. Kyle looks over at me with his determined emeralds.

"Ready fat ass?" he asks as he sets his hand by his first shot glass.

"Ready Jew." I grin back. Kenny raises his arm and we both start taking them down.


	10. Chapter 10

My last shot glass hits the surface of the book a split second after Kyle's. I curse quietly, before looking up at him. God, he looks shitfaced. We stare at each other for a minute.

"Who were you talking to on the phone before you started speaking Japanese?" he asks, then hiccups slightly.

"Keith." I answer simply, just staring into those eyes. He breaks eye contact as he looks up at the ceiling.

"That Keith?" he asks, pointing to his note. I blush, but don't respond until he looks back at me.

"Play you for the answer." I say, holding up a shot glass. He grins drunkenly, and out of the corner of my eye I see Kenny rush out of the room, to send puking noises to us from the bathroom.

"Well I guess Kenny's done. What about you, Stan? You up for one more?" I'm pretty sure I slurred most of that out. He laughs, but shakes his head.

"Nah I told you guys, I can't stay. I'm probably too drunk already." he smiles. I nod.

"Alright, just you and me Jew boy." I say as I look him over.

"Yeah, I think I'm just gonna check on Kenny and head out." Stan grins as he stumbles up.

"Alright man, I'll probably see you Monday." I wave at him as he ducks out of the room. Kyle sits in front of me as I pour out our shots.

"Three, two, one." I counted before we began taking them down. He beats me by an entire shot glass. I stare at him before I even touch my last one.

"Ok, what the hell Kahl." I slur out angrily.  
"Your pint-sized self should not be capable of that." I again hope I didn't slur too badly. He smiles shyly.

"So tell me, why d'you do that to Craig?" I stare at him for a long minute before taking my last shot.

"Prostitution's illegal, Kahl." I finally say as I tap my empty glass down. He looks pissed, but in this really repressed, really unsure way.

"Then why didn't you hit me?" he's not looking at me anymore, choosing the floor instead. God this pain in my chest was unbearable! What is that?! I clench at my chest, and Kyle sniffs a bit I worry for a minute that he's about to cry. My chest was aching, and I couldn't think. I stumble up and across the room. Shit, I can barely breathe.

"Cartman?" He stands and takes a step toward me. I step back. God, I cant even think properly... What the hell was going on?! I stare at him for a minute before bolting out the room.  
I run out the door. I just need some air, god I can't even think straight. Kenny's at the bottom of the stairs smoking, but I just walk past him.

"Dude! Dude!" Kenny yells as he runs up to me.  
"Where you going?"

"I just need to think. There's something wrong with me." I mutter. He stops walking with me and turns back towards the apartment.

I ended up walking for about twenty minutes before heading back. I was starting to feel normal again, although I was still pretty drunk. I tried to think though the siguation with Kyle from every angle that I could, but only one answer made any sense...

Kenny was outside smoking again when I got back.

"Cartman, what the hell's wrong with you?" Kenny asks, shaking his head.

"He put a Jew-spell on me! This is not normal!" I practically yell.

"Seriously dude? You have to know what's really going on with you." Kenny frowns. I just scoff at him.

"Don't even start with that crap again, Kinny; this is not normal." I say as I point to my chest. He just laughed, shaking his head.

"I talked to Kyle after you left. I think he finished off the jäger." he shrugged.

"So?" I ask with gritted teeth.

"So you called him a prostitute then freak out when he gets upset?"

"That's not what happened! Well, yeah, but I didn't call him a prostitute directly!" I argued. Kenny just shook his head again.

"He's emo, cartman; as in, emotionally vulnerable? Implications are enough." I frowned as his words sunk in. He's emotionally vulnerable... And Craig used that to his sick liking. I balled my hands into fists, wishing again that I had killed him. I huff, before walking back into the house. Kyle's cuddled up to the empty jäger bottle watching one of my DVDs.

"I wanted to kill him." I find myself telling him as I walk in the room. Kyle looks up at me in surprise.  
"I still do. But it's because Craig's been leading people to do shitty things, and he's an asshole." I state definitively. Kyle quirks his head to the side with a small smile.

"I'm watching Donnie Darko." he gestures to the floor next to him. I stare into his eyes for a minute before awkwardly sitting at his side. After a few minutes of watching the movie, I glanced down at him.

"You up for one more round?" I ask, trying to be casual. He looks up at me as he chuckles lightly.

"If you want to ask me something, you can just ask." He rolls his eyes before turning his attention back to the movie. Jesus Christ, what was with this emo? I thought he was upset?

"Why did you guys stop hanging out?" I ask, my voice wavering a little. Of course I knew everyone else's story, but obviously Kyle's is the most important. He doesn't answer for a while, and I start to worry that he's ignoring me again. I start to get pissed, but then his stupidly green eyes look up at me, replacing my anger with uncertainty.

"I want to be alone." Kyle said with a small smile. I scowl at the returning pain in my core.

"Like hell. What happened?" I ask again. He blushes.

"I needed to be alone." he said a bit more hesitantly.

"Ok, why?" I ask rolling my eyes.

"Nope. My turn." he glances up at me before turning back to the laptop. A few minutes pass as he seems to be choosing a question.

"Whats the real reason you care about me being here?" he asks, his eyes staring through me. I blush.

"W-well I wanted to get the guys back together." Shit, there I go again, stumbling over my words. Drinking and answering these kinds of questions are definitely not good together. He looks up, as though right through me.

"Then why am I the only one bribed into staying the night?" He asks dully. I blush, and a smirk crosses his face. Damn Jew! He knew exactly what he was doing to me!

"What the hell do you mean by that?!" I shout defensively. He looks at me like I'm stupid. Damn emo-Jew-pussy...

"Stan left and Kenny's been gone since you got back... At first I thought you were trying to humiliate me, or pull something stupid." he pauses biting his lip gently. My heart starts racing.  
"But all you've done since you've been here is try to make me feel at ease. So my question is why?" he's staring into me, and I'm caught off guard again.

"Mine too." I nearly whisper. He scoffs.

"Fine. Don't tell me." he pouts a little before continuing.  
"But that means I get another question." he has a soft smile on his face, but his eyes are on the movie.

"Fine, whatever." I look away, blushing.

"Who's Keith?" god those eyes are electric...

"What?" I ask, suddenly realizing what he asked.

"Tell me about him." he shrugs. I gape at him for a minute.

"Why?" I ask nearly monotone. He smirks again. Goddamn Jew.

"Because I'm curious." my heart starts pounding. Goddamn phrasing!

"He's just some kid, who cares?" I frown. I mean, he was cool enough, but I haven't been waiting to talk to Kyle just to talk about Keith. ...Not that I've been waiting to talk to the Jew. Damn.

"Well I just have a theory." as he shrugs his tee shirt falls off his shoulder a little more. He's quick to fix it, but I can't keep the blush off my face.

"What...what theory is that?" I stutter, trying not to get sucked into his voodoo eyes. He looks up at the poster, thankfully it was just too dark to read it now.

"I think he told you he loved you, you freaked out and convinced your mom to move. And now you don't want to be alone because your struggling with the guilt of dumping someone over something so small." he pauses, but I just gape at him. I'm speechless. That's a much better story than anything I could have come with, especially having him stare at me like that.

"Something like that." I smile down at him. He's not looking at me anymore, but I can see the light smile on his lips.

"So?" he asks, eyes still on the movie.

"So what?" I look down at him in surprise. He smirks again.

"So tell me about him." he laughs a little. I scoff at him.

"Nothing to tell. He's just some kid." I say again.

"Do I have to keep asking questions, or are you going to answer one?"

"I don't know, he's nerdy, good with math, a people person. He always kept the guys dedicated on jobs..." I list. What the hell was I suppose to say?  
"Just some guy." I shrug,

"But one who's in love with you." Kyle adds. I blush.

"God you and Kenny." I scoff quietly.

"Me and Kenny what?" he asks, cocking his head to the side.

"Believing in that stuff." I shrug.

"What? love?" Kyle starts laughing. I glare down at him, but we're quiet until the movie ends. As the credits roll he looks up at me.

"You have any food?" he asks, rubbing his stomach lightly.

"Yeah sure." I say as I stand up. I hold my arm out to him, but as I help him up he stumbles into me. His hands are on my abs, and I can feel his breath on my chest. I felt my face heat up as my breath disappeared. He steps back and looks up at me hesitantly.

"Sorry, drank too much." he says quietly. I stared at him for a minute too long before remembering what we were doing. I lead the way to the kitchen and opened up the fridge.

"What do you want?" I ask him as I prod around a carton of orange juice.

"I'm not picky." he shrugs before hopping up on the counter. I smile at him for a minute.

"I could order a pizza." I offer, once again absorbed in his eyes. He smiles at me.

"Just cheese ok?" he asks as he begins swinging his legs childishly. My gaze follows up his calves. I can't help but fantasize about tracing my hands down those thin legs, pressing close to him and touching him gently; even softer than he touched me...

"Cartman?" he asks. I blush as I realize I was just blatantly checking him out.

"Cheese. Yeah." I turn away from him, grabbing my phone with a shaking hand.

After ordering the pizza I turn back to Kyle. He's watching my suspiciously.

"What Kahl?" I ask as I blush again. He smirks and shakes his head.

"Let's smoke." he smiles. I stare at him.

"I don't smoke." I frown. He holds up the bag of weed I got him and a glass pipe.

"Tonight you do." he hopped off the counter and walked over to me. He stood close as he looked up at me with bright emerald eyes.  
"Tonight I'm taking your weed-virginity." he smiles. I blush.

"You dirty jersey-jinger-jew-junkie."


	11. Chapter 11

Kyle stands in front of me, breaking the plant up into his glass pipe. He's so close I can smell him; like pomegranate and camp fires. It takes all my will power not to wrap my arms around his small frame. Finally he spins around to look at me. He holds up the packed bowl with a wink.

"You ready fat ass?" he smiles beautifully. I smile nervously back at him.

"Ready Jew." I shrug. He pulls a lighter out of his pocket and takes a hit. He places his free hand on my shoulder, and I feel my body tense up. Slowly his fingers move to the back of my neck. He pulls me down just an inch away from a kiss.

"Inhale." he tells me as some smoke escapes. I do as he says, and breathe in his smoke. He pulls away and once again I'm going crazy. I hold my breath for a minute before letting out the breath of smoke. I want to make fun of Kyle, make him feel as uncomfortable as I do, but I just cough instead. I glare at him, and he smiles at me with dazzling eyes.

"So what do you think?" he asks me, quirking his head to the side. I felt a little light headed, and like there's a flock of butterflies in my stomach, but in all fairness there was a good chance that it wasn't the weed, but rather the almost kiss that did that.

"It's ok. Might need more though." I baited. Fuck waiting, fuck planning, this Jew is mine, and it's time I make that clear. He giggles, handing me the bowl. I growl, but don't let it stop me. I take a hit, then pull him close to me again. He squeals a little. We're so close now that our noses are nearly touching. I blow out my hit slowly, watching in fascination as he drinks it up. He looks up at me and I loose myself in those confused emeralds.

"Your hands on my hip Cartman." he informed me after a minute. I scowled.

"So what?" I counter childishly. He laughs a little.

"Right." he rolls his eyes and takes the bowl from me. My hearts pounding loudly, and I swear I'm going insane. I pull my hand away from him hesitantly and he leans on the counter behind him.

"We need music." he says with a smile. I pull out my phone, flipping through my albums. He may dress dark, but I somehow doubt that he listens to death metal. I frown.

"I got metal bands from acidbath to vader." I shrug. He laughs a little before opening up his own phone. A minute later there's some kind of eighties techno type crap playing, I wince.

"I heard you like screaming, what the hell is this?" I ask as I fight this impulse to cover my ears. Kyle grins seductively at me before gliding past me.

"When I drink I like to dance." His gorgeous green eyes pierce through me, and I'm literally weak-kneed. I stand awe-struck and blushing deeply at the dancing emo in front of me.. About halfway through the song he looked up at me. I stopped breathing as he held out his hand with a sly grin.

"You just going to watch? Come on, dance with me." Jesus Christ, my heart's going to explode. I stumble back against the counter and shake my head.

"I don't dance." I mutter out mortified. His hips still swayed to the beat as he spoke to me, and my eyes were glued to them.

"Come on! Never?" he pouts. Shit, how am I suppose to think at all with his sexy ass being paraded all in front of me?!

"A little too faggy for me." I manage to choke out. He laughs. I swear, every time I hear his laugh it gets more genuine, more Kylesc. As he dances up to me, I tear my eyes from his hips an look down into his teasing eyes.

"Come on. For me." he tells me. I should make fun of that. I should deny something... I... I take his hand as he leads me back into the open space.

"I can't dance." I mutter again. He smiles.

"Yes you can. You just don't know how." god is he drunk? He did drink a lot... But god, he's so graceful, so sexy... What am I doing? He's still swaying lightly as he whispers up to me.

"Just let go. Think of it as a primal tease. Just move to the music." god I need him.

"Primal tease, huh?" I smirk. He nods as he spins around. Well, I don't have that girly little frame to prance around in. All my primal force comes from beastly and protective urges. But what the hell, for him I'll give it a try. My movements aren't fluid like his, but it begins to feel natural moving to the music with him. We dance like predator and prey, although the further we go the less sure I am which of us is which. Four songs later and he's in my arms, grinding against my hard dick. God what the fuck. I'm running my hands over him so fucking lightly as my heart pounds out my chest. As the song ends, he spins, so we're chest to chest. I can feel his erection against my thigh. We're staring at each other, but nothing about me is working right. I'm just frozen, waiting for him to make some kind of move. He smirks before pulling away. Hopping back on the counter, he takes a hit of the weed. Damn.

"Told you you can dance." he smirks again. Damn emo. I growl at him, causing his emerald eyes to flare to life.

"Ok. I did that for you. Now you got to do something for me." I managed to choke out.

"If this is about having me suck your cock you could have just said so." He smirks, batting his dark lashes at me seductively. I'm frozen as he looks me over. God his fucking eyes... so sexy... but... his face is cold, like he's accepting this as what's going to happen; not at all how I pictured. This look just brought that pain in my chest back. what the hell is going on? He walks over to me and places his cold hand against my increasingly hot chest. Finally I regained control of my body. I shove his arm off me a bit too roughly, and he holds it close as he backs away. The pain in my chest tripled as I looked into his eyes and saw the terror and pain in them. I stare at him completely mortified for a second longer before stepping toward him. He takes a step back, but I back him into the wall. As carefully as I can I pull him to my chest.

"You stupid joo..." I manage to whisper out. Slowly he begins to relax. When I pull back he looks very confused yet determined.

"Look, Cartman, whatever you thinks going on here doesn't matter. Obviously you gave me those drugs so I'd owe you, and it's not like I haven't done this before." He shrugs. I gape at him for a minute.

"And what the hell makes you think I want that?" I growl. He smirks up at me.

"Please, with you're awkward quietness, and trying to be nice, and eye banging me all the time? Not to mention how rock hard we were dancing?" Kyle chuckles a bit. Anger flares up inside me, and I react without thinking.

"Seeing you as a little slut? How could I not enjoy that?!" I nearly yell. He just smiles sadly.

"Then you'll be glad you moved back to town. There's nothing left for you to break." The cold reaches his eyes, and clutch at my chest. I look him over in a new light of disgust, my eyes landing on his wristbands. I grab his arm before he can pull away. He struggles, but I hold him firmly as I take the band off. I'm frozen as I stare at those deep scars, and fresh gashes. He stops struggling, and I quickly let go of his arm and turn away, feeling tears prick at my eyes. I hold my hand over my mouth, trying to comprehend the situation.

"You're just some emo, aren't you?" I nearly growl, before adding "You're not really my jew." in a soft whisper. A tear runs down my cheek. It's dead silent until I hear him gasp a little then whimper. I turn around just in time to catch him, and ease him to the ground. He's shivering violently, and his face is contorted in agony. I feel my heart break, and I know, I love this Jew. No matter how poor of a condition he's in. He shivers and shakes in my arms, letting out whimpers and gasps, and tears. I rock him slowly, and run my hands through his soft, coarse hair. It seems to help calm him a bit. We stay there for nearly twenty minutes before his breathing evens out, and he seems to be in less pain. My hearts racing, and I just want to do anything I can to ease his suffering. I chuckle lightly.

"What have you done to me, Jew?" I nearly whisper as I hold him tightly.


	12. Chapter 12

I held him in silence until there was a knock on my door. I freeze, but Kyle slowly backs away and stands up. He faces away from me, and I watch him for a second before awkwardly going to the door. On the other side, Kenny's waiting impatiently.

"Dude, after you went inside, I got mauled by a bear!" He explains dramatically.

"That bastard." Kyle replies as though automatically. Kenny and I both laugh.

"Aw, you guys smoked without me?" Kenny asked as he sniffed the air.

"There's plenty left if you want to smoke." Kyle shrugs, leading the way back to the kitchen. I watch them for a minute before my head catches up to me.

"Wait, guys, there's a pizza on its way." I frown. I'd rather not have the pizza guy get a contact high when I open the door.

"From the new pizza hut down the street?" Kenny asks with a laugh.

"Yeah, why?" I frown. Kenny rolled his eyes as he hands the empty pipe to Kyle.

"Because Butters works there and he has delivery hours late on weekends. I've seen him deliver to some sick parties dude." Kenny smirks. Kyle take a hit before handing the pipe and lighter to Kenny. I took my first hit of this bowl just before there was another knock on the door. I coughed a little as I answered.

"I have a large cheese-oh! Eric!" the blond pizza guy blushes.

"Butters." I reply. He was maybe half a foot shorter than me, about Kenny's height. And while his eyes and hair were similar in color to Kenny's, everything about Butters was much more pale and almost pudgey.

"Oh! Good! you remember me!" He beamed. I rolled my eyes and handed him a twenty.

"Keep the change dude." I say as I grab the pizza from him.

"Well its about my break time! Maybe we could-" But I had already closed the door.

"Dude!" Kenny protests before walking past me and opening the door. Butters is still at the door, looking like he hadn't moved an inch.

"Come on in, Butters." Kenny invites.

"O-oh, well, ok. I don't want to interrupt or anything." Butters stutters shyly before the two walk back toward the kitchen. I sigh, closing the door behind them.  
I open the pizza box on the counter before grabbing out four paper plates. As I hand Kenny his, I see him making bedroom eyes at Butters. What a slut. I grab a few slices and head back to my room, waiting by the door as Kenny literally leads Butters by the hand past me.

I can't stop myself form wondering what would have happened if Kenny didn't come back? Would Kyle have fallen asleep in my arms? I look up at Kyle with a blush. He's still seated on the counter across from the pizza. He stares at it for a minute. God damn it, don't tell me he's anorexic too? To my relief, he eventually gets up and grabs himself a piece. A small piece, but it was something. He walked towards me before freezing when he meets my eyes. He looks so tired, so broken. Why couldn't he just take care of himself while I was gone? He had to make this so much work for me. I roll my eyes before leading the way back to my room.  
I passed Butters and sat to Kenny's left, Kyle slowly sitting on my other side. I grin when I realize they put in Happy Gilmore. Some movies are just timeless. About halfway to through the movie, Butters gets up.

"sorry, I have to get back to work, guys, thanks for including me!" He grins.

"I'll walk you out." Kenny says as he stands next to him.

When the two blonds leave, Kyle looks up at me. Again I'm sucked into those emerald eyes.

"I still don't understand what you want from me." He says quietly. I feel my chest ache, and I resist the urge to pull him to my chest again.

"You never have." I whisper back. Kenny walks back in, a large grin on his face.

"Why can't all people be as thoughtful and sweet as Butters?" He asks, and I burst out laughing. A whole world with nothing but Butters? As if this place isn't shitty enough as it is. Although, if there was a whole world of Butters, I could make myself King. I laughed harder.

"If you love him so much, then why don't you fuck him?" I ask between fits of laughter.

"Ah, I've tried. But alas sweet Butters is straight." He sighs, as he sits next to me. I'm laughing so hard that I can barely breathe. Butters is straight? But me, Kyle, Kenny and Craig are gay?! I'm wiping tears away from my face, and Kenny starts to look worried. I try to even out my breaths.

"Ok, Ok. I'm alright." I breathe out. A minute later I hear an eight-year-old me in the back of my mind freak out. I burst out laughing again, startling the two next to me.

"Ok, I'm seriously this time." I breathe deep even breaths, before Kyle starts laughing, and I'm sucked back in.

"Goddamn it Jew, I had almost stopped!" I manage to breathe out. He laughs harder.

"I know!" He gasps. Finally we both calm down, grinning at each other. Kenny just shakes his head.  
When the movie finishes up, I look over to see that Kenny had passed out. I look over at Kyle, who looks near ready to collapse himself. He's looking at me as he yawns. Its slightly high-pitched, and the way he holds his hand over his mouth is just fucking adorable. He smiles at me.

"I can't help but think it would be pretty funny if you killed me in my sleep." He has such a soft smile on his face that it takes me a minute to process.

"You're a little twisted." I smile fondly at him. He grins back with glistening eyes.

"I know." He strips off his fishnet hoodie, and I can't help but watch as his shirt rides up his back a little. I blush and start shutting down my computer. By the time I laid down, Kyle was already tucked in, facing away from me. I stare at him for a long minute before he turns back to look at me.

"C-Cartman?" He asks in such an innocent, near scared voice. I smile sadly at him.

"It's ok now, Kahl." I breathe out. He smiles softly before rolling back over.

The next morning I wake up before anyone else. I sigh at my viciously growling stomach. Slowly I get up and ready for the day. Then I begin to make omlettes. I'm not very good, but I like to add a lot of random stuff. Making my own food kind of came with my mom getting married, so in the last four years I've learned a few things about cooking. As I made the third one, Kyle walks out my door with a yawn.

"Foods up." I say as I set up the plates. He gapes at me.

"You cook now?" He asks in amazement. I try to hide my blush. It's not that big of a deal.

"Well, you know, when there's no food." I say lamely, before digging my fork through my own omlette. He hesitantly sits down next to me. He stares at it for a long time before I roll my eyes.

"I didn't poison it, Kahl. I thought we moved past that." I'm talking with food in my mouth, and I try not blush at how unattractive I know I'm being. He laughs lightly.

"It's not that." His voice is so damn soft, and quiet... I stare into the food I'm eating, knowing I'm too tired to stop myself from staring at him once I start. I finish up my breakfast and toss out the plate before starting on the dishes. I glance over at Kyle and am relieved to see he ate almost all of his too. He tosses the rest before handing me his fork. As I wash up the dishes I hear his footsteps leave the room, probably to get ready for the day. I hum to myself lightly. Last night somehow went better than expected, even if it wasn't how I planned at all. Still, It gave me some idea on what I'm dealing with. I don't know why Stan and Kenny ever pussed out on him. He needs us now more than ever. It may be a pain in the ass, but I know I'll find my Jew.

"Are you singing 'bad romance'?" Kyle asks as he messes with his already perfect hair. I chuckle a little.

"I guess I am. Are you heading out?" I glance down at his backpack and sleeping bag.

"Yeah, I have to get home before my mom comes home from work." He shrugs. I stare at him for a minute. Does she not know he's here? I dry off my hands before pulling him into a hug. He squeaks a little, before hesitantly wrapping his arms around my chest.

"See you monday Jew." I say as I pull away. His eyes look foggy and confused.

"Later fat ass." And then he hops out my door. I finish up the dishes before Kenny comes out.

"Ooh, breakfast!" He grins. I just sigh.

"Just hurry up, we have work to do."


	13. Chapter 13

Kenny scarfs down his omelette in record time.

"Cartman, oh my god." he says with a dreamy smile while he rubs his stomach.

"Be my personal chef?" he asks, batting his eyes at me. I laugh.

"Not even if you had the money to pay me." I replied. Kenny stands, stretching.

"So what's this work you were talking about?" he asks with a yawn.

"You're going to bring me back to that Jewish camp." I grin as I lean back against the counter.

"I told you, Stan and I went over that place." he rolls his eyes.

"Yes, but I don't trust that you did it right."

"Even if we didn't, it's been four years; what the hell kind of clue do you think will be left?" He asks doubtingly. I just roll my eyes.

"And this is why I have to do everything myself." I sigh, and lead the way out the apartment.

I follow Kenny to the train station and of course I have to pay for his ticket. The trip there wasn't bad, and soon we were able to start gathering information.

"Is that the place?" I ask, pointing to a campgrounds in the distance.

"Yeah, come on." he waves as he keeps walking. I grab his shoulder to stop him.

"Hang on, Kinny!" I say a I glare at him. He laughs as I go through my backpack. I pull out binoculars before leading Kenny into the woods.

"What the hell, Cartman!" he yelps.

"Quiet down, poor boy. Do you know nothing about surveillance?" I glare at him.

"Surveillance?" he asks stupidly.

"Yes, Kenny. What, did you and Stan just burst in and ask a bunch of questions at random?" I laugh, trying to keep my voice down. He grumbles something, but I'm already moving through the brush ahead of him. I slow as I near the gate of the camp, taking extra care of my footing. I peer through my binoculars at the place. Huh. Its a boarding school too... Well, it seemed nice enough, at first glance, but I wasn't buying it. Kids were out playing, and most of them looked happy. I frowned as I sat on a log.

"Shh! Kinny!" I whisper behind me at the clumsy blond. He swears as he nearly trips over a root. I roll my eyes and go back to surveying.

"So anything?" he asks as he sits beside me.

"This stuff takes time retard." I whisper back. He sighs.

"Wish you told me that earlier, I'd have brought my PSP." he mutters.

"Your still using that old thing?" I chuckle lightly at the poor boy.

A few minutes later the kids are called back inside. And there he is. The odd kid out; no friends, keeps to himself, looks scared to death at the thought of going back in. I pull a camera out of my bag and take a picture of him.

"Dude! People are going to think we're pedophiles!" Kenny hisses at me.

"Relax, this isn't too different from a job I did a while back for mr Motishimo. He had this other company's CEO making him look bad, so he payed me to do a kind of psyche eval on this guy and his protege." I try to assure him. Although with this I have a little more creative leeway...

"Huh. Well what happened?" he asks.

"We found that his protege would be more cooperative." I shrug as I put my camera back in my bag. He's quiet as I get ready to head back.

"Dude! Did you kill that guy?" he finally asks in astonishment. I can't help but laugh loudly. Thankfully all the camp staff had gone back inside.

"That's ridiculous." I laugh, walking past him back towards the train station.

"You dick." he grunts as he follows behind me. We ride the train back to South Park, and walk back to my place from there.

"So we did all that for what exactally?" Kenny groans as we walk into my room. I plug my camera into my laptop.

"To find out if this kid has always been a weirdo, or if it's that place." I explain, paying more attention to my computer.

"ok? And you've managed to learn that much about computers too?" he asks doubtingly.

"Kenny, I'm getting real sick of that!" I snap before continuing more calmly.

"And yes I've picked up a bit, but not enough. I have to call up my expert." I smirk a little as I pull out my phone. It only ring once before he answers.

"H-hey." he greets nervously.

"Hey beaner. I need your help with a project I'm working on." I say as I start on my computer. I don't know a lot, but I know enough to give him a head start.

"Oh. Well, then first, how's Colorado?" Keith asks.

"Really?" I groan.

"Come on, at least tell me if you found him." I sigh loudly in response.

"Almost. But I need your help." I ask in a deep seductive tone.

"...ok." he pouts.

"Good. I'm sending you information about a boarding school here in colorado, and a picture of a kid there. I need you to find out everything about the school, espesially staff that have been there for at least four years, and i need everything on that kid too; name, place of origin, how long he's been there, and espesially who he is. That means personality; happy, energetic, friendly, extetera." I instruct.

"Alright. I'll call you back in a little while." he sighs.

"Hey Keith?" I ask.

"What?"

"Your awesome."

"...oh, ah, t-thanks. Bye." he says awkwardly. I laugh a little. He's fun to fuck with, but he also works faster when he's happy.

"So you two were together." Kenny laughs lightly. I just roll my eyes.

"No, we just fucked around a couple times." I explain, somehow not feeling embarrassed about it. He just laughs.

"So what now, we just wait?"

"Well, you do. I need to start figuring out the next faze..." I say distractedly. He sighs, plopping down on his sleeping bag.

Over the next few hours Keith began sending me a near continuous stream of information. Turns out the kid use to be head of the soccer team; a beloved and loving child with a lot of friends. I began peicing together all the information Keith sent over about the school too, weaving it all into a beautifully crafted master plan.

"Ok Kenny, so I have the blueprints of the school here. Out best bet seems to be here, by the groundkeeper's quarters." I explain to the bored blond sitting beside me.

"then I need you to talk to this kid, get him to confirm our suspects. Once you do that-"

"No, dude! I suck with kids! You do that!"

"Kenny, do I seem like the kid friendly type?" I scoffed.

"I'm going to fuck it up." he shrugs.

"Fine. We'll recruit Stan to do that." I roll my eyes.

"Right, because Stan is so eager to help out Kyle." he rolls his eyes back. I stare at him for a minute in anger.

"Ok Kenny; you are going to tell me what really happened between the two of them, ok? I'm sick of this half-truth bullshit." I huff out. He looks up at me in surprise.

"Well... I guess it started in sixth grade." he shrugs.

"What? That's a year before I left, you really think I wouldn't have noticed?" I glare at him, but he just shrugs again.

"Well the problem wasn't until after, but yeah, that's where it started. Anyways, I didn't find out about it until after Stan already gave up." He looks up at me an I see a flash of hurt cross his face.

"Kyle came out to Stan at the beginning of sixth grade. I guess Stan was super supportive, but told Kyle that he never wanted to actually see two guys kiss; he didn't want anything gay in his own life." Kenny explained. I furrowed my brow.

"Dude, Stan's been the least homophobic out of any of us." I reminded him.

"Yes, but we're all gay, if you hadn't noticed. He's cool with gays, but he doesn't want to actually see any of it. My point is that Kyle promised to keep PDA down when or if he ever got a boyfriend." Kenny reasoned.

"So what, this whole prostitution for drugs thing rub him the wrong way?" I ask rolling my eyes.

"Dude, none of us knew that was happening. But while we were trying to convince Kyle to talk to us..." he hesitated before continuing.

"Ike snuck us into his room, but Kyle said he wanted nothing to do with us. Stan said he wasn't leaving, and Kyle kind of freaked out." he sighed.

"And?" I asked impatiently.

"And he kissed Stan and called him a bitch." Kenny replied quickly.

"He what?" I growled back. There's no way. What if that's what Kyle really wants? What if even if I win him over, he'll still always wish he could have Stan? Goddamn it, that hippy piece of shit's going to pay for this...

"Cartman! Cartman!" Kenny yells after me. He grabs onto my arm, dragging behind me for a few steps. I finally stop.

"What Kenny?" I snap.

"You can't just beat the shit out of him for no reason." he huffs.

"No reason!? Dude!" I yell back.

"Look, Kyle practically spat on their agreement. The two want nothing to do with each other." Kenny growled.

"But there's some one else we can get who has to be good with kids." he explains. I was still insanely pissed, but he was right. The mission had to come first.

"Fine. Who?" I asked between gritted teeth. He grins sheepishly at me.

"Goddamn it."


End file.
